


Death at a Wedding

by virdant



Category: Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Crack, Fix-It, Humor, M/M, Weddings, not angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-02
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-14 13:01:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29792286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/virdant/pseuds/virdant
Summary: On the flagship Invisible Hand, a wedding shifts the fate of the galaxy.
Relationships: CC-2224 | Cody/Obi-Wan Kenobi
Comments: 14
Kudos: 192





	Death at a Wedding

**Author's Note:**

> thanks to folks on sway's Negotiator discord server encouraging this nonsense and Alex for providing title help.

“General!” Cody shouted, as he charged onto the bridge beside Obi-Wan and Anakin. The Chancellor sat there, wrists cuffed to the seat with binders. Count Dooku stood menacingly behind him.

“Commander,” Obi-Wan began.

But Cody had honed onto the eminent danger, and one man who could solve the problem. “Chancellor,” he said, as he leveled his blaster at Dooku. “Marry us.”

“What?” Said Obi-Wan.

“What?” said Palpatine.

“What?” said Count Dooku.

“Jedi can’t get married!” yelled Anakin.

There was a moment of silence. “Yes,” Palpatine was about to say, only to get interrupted by Count Dooku, who had turned to stare at Anakin in utter bafflement.

“What on earth are you talking about?” Count Dooku said. “Did you learn nothing at all from your Master? The Jedi forbid _attachment_ , or selfish, possessive love. While marriage is discouraged, because it encourages people to value a spouse over their commitment to the order, there’s nothing specifically forbidding marriage.”

Anakin paused.

Obi-Wan blinked.

Palpatine said, “Don’t listen to him! He’s a Separatist!”

“No,” Obi-Wan said. “Count Dooku is right. He does know our beliefs.”

Cody said, “General, I don’t know how this war will end, but even being the Chancellor safe on Coruscant didn’t keep him from getting kidnapped, so our lives could end any moment. Marry me, please.”

“Shouldn’t this wait?” Obi-Wan began, lightsaber still drawn and pointed at Count Dooku. 

“No,” Cody said, also with his blaster still drawn. “General, our lives could end any moment—”

“You can’t get married!” Chancellor Palpatine yelled, again.

“You very much can.” Count Dooku eyed Cody suspiciously. “You could do better than a clone, Grandpadawan.”

“Cody is an excellent man, Count.”

“Yes well.” He sniffed. “Very well, by the power vested in me as Leader of the Separatist Faction, I do declare the two of you husband and husband.”

“What?” Anakin said.

“What?” Palpatine said.

“Thank you,” Obi-Wan said. “But as we are not living in Separatist space, that marriage really won’t do. We’ll need to get it done under Republic Law.”

There was a moment of silence while they looked at Chancellor Palpatine, who gibbered furiously before shouting: “No! You can’t get married! I refuse! I ref—”

There was a hacking choking sound, and then Palpatine keeled over.

“High blood pressure,” Count Dooku said, shaking his head. “Well, do invite me to your wedding, Grandpadawan, Grandnomi. And enjoy your dead Sith.”

There was another long moment of silence as Dooku swung off the bridge with a dramatic swish of his cape. And then Obi-Wan stared at Palpatine.

“Sith?” he echoed, right as Palpatine exploded in a burst of dark energy, and the galaxy became a little more balanced.

**Author's Note:**

> you know that PotC scene with the Jack & Elizabeth wedding? yeah. yeah.
> 
> also this fic is 444 words which is an excellent number for a fic involving death.


End file.
